It’s been a few weeks since my last post. I suppose that can be a good thing, since it means that life has slowed down to more of a routine. Excitement is good, but tiring. My publisher (Melanie) has been on vacation, which gave me an additional excuse to be lax. Mark and I have found that the first three months are the most difficult time when acclimating to any new environment whether it’s a new city or job, off to college for the first time, or, say, to a new country. It hasn’t helped the kids’ attitudes to know that all of their American friends are already enjoying summer vacation. The Chinese have 6 weeks off in the summer and 6 weeks off in the winter. Our kids were still in school in the States during the China’s winter break, making this the longest school year of their lives. We have also grieved with Addison and Alayna as their two best friends in Dalian have moved back to their home countries (The Philippines and the US). I suppose that is a risk you take when you live in an international community. It was wonderful for the two of them to have good friends who could speak English, but now this forces them to use their Chinese to make friends. Mark is currently in Thailand for a meeting with the US Wheat Associates. He is networking and meeting with old colleagues from the States. We all wanted to go with him on this trip, but couldn’t find reasonable airfare. His travel schedule has started to pick up steam, and he’ll be away a lot this summer. Even though he’s busy, we are looking forward to our break. We are humbled to have 3 sets of friends coming to visit us. One of Addison’s old classmates and her family (the Pan-Weiss family) will be here for the 4th of July Weekend. They are stopping by on their way to Beijing where the two girls are taking language classes at Beijing University. Our kids don’t get out of school until July 10th, so they will be taking their American friends to school on Monday! Our next guest, Bill, comes July 13 and will stay for two and a half weeks. We plan to do some traveling while he is here, but haven’t made firm plans. We have connected with the Chinese teacher, Carolyn, who lived with our family in 2004-2005. She left her husband and daughter (Saylor’s age) here in China when she lived with us, so we are anxious to meet her family. Next to come is another good friend, Michele, who lived with us for a short time before she got married. We are only sad because we couldn’t convince her to bring her one and a half year old with her. Mark’s brother, Mike (who might bring his son), will come during a holiday this fall and will get to do some more traveling with him. Mark’s company, who is only accustomed to sending Japanese nationals abroad, usually sends its overseas employees and their families back to Japan once a year. Since tickets to the US would be so much more expensive, the company has offered a compromise. They are willing to apply the cost of tickets to Japan towards travel to anywhere we want. This is fine with us, since we weren’t planning to go back to the State until the fall of 2010, anyway. We are still in the dreaming phase, but are leaning towards Southeast Asia. This trip will most likely occur next winter break (Jan 15-March1).
This next story should be Mark’s to tell, but he’s been so busy. When we first got here, we wondered out loud whether Mark’s good friend from 1993, Yang Bingzhong (Larry) was still in Dalian, even though he graduated from the Dalian Foreign Language University in 1996. We had no way of looking him up. A few days before the trip to Dandong where we were NOT almost captured by North Korea (thanks, Melanie), Mark shared his China experiences with the college kids from Juniata. They had dinner at a very nice Sichuan restaurant close to the university, which has many small private dining rooms. I’m not exactly clear on the chain of near misses that lead to Mark and Larry bumping into each other at the restaurant, but consider it a happy coincident. We had dinner with them last weekend and discovered that his stepson is just two classes down the hall from Saylor at school! Both Larry and his wife speak very standard Chinese, which made the conversation easy for me to follow. Larry has his own travel agency, which should also come in handy for our family.
We continue to miss all of you, but feel tremendously blessed to have this opportunity. The kids are slowing coming around. We hope that as time goes on, they will come to understand they can learn so much from their time here. Before I close, I’ll give you a quick rundown on the kids.
Addison has had a difficult time here, which she blames on the move. It’s not much comfort, but I keep reminding her (lovingly) that she slammed doors in the US, too. I remember what it’s like to be 13…so emotional…self-absorbed (last night she asked me which side of the bed Mark sleeps on?!?). It boils down to being hormonal, I think. Mark and I have both worked extra hard at keeping a close relationship with her. Mark takes her to her bus stop every day before his morning walk, and I think they enjoy this private time together. Sometimes Addison will accompany him on his evening walk, too. She recently told him that she has decided to put effort into her school work because she cares about her education (not grades, mind you, but education!). I don’t want to jinx it, but we’ve seen a nice change in her attitude and willingness to participate in our family activities in the last few weeks and months.
Saylor probably has the most homework and the least amount of free time. Being easily distracted doesn’t help her case at all. She is constantly asking to have more independence to set her own homework schedule, but I keep find her knitting, reading a book or watching the kids play in the courtyard outside our apartment. With the tutors’ help, she is learning a lot. Most Chinese would say she speaks like a native, and she is very willing to communicate with them. She also has a gift of befriending small children whether it is just on the side of the road or the little ones that live in our complex. If I didn’t have three other kids to keep on task, I think I would parent her so differently.
Alayna has been challenged here. She is a child for whom things have come very naturally. She’s such a quiet child (flying under the radar) that she is being overlooked by both her teachers and her classmates. I recently asked her teacher how she was doing, and her response made me think that she doesn’t seem to know Lanie at all. It made me more than a little sad to know that the adult, who gets to spend the most time with her, doesn’t seem to know how lucky she is. She is not very willing to use her Chinese, even though people who hear her speak say that her Chinese is good, which has made making friends more difficult. In addition to her school work and violin, she is also studying the traditional Chinese string instrument called the Erhu (see later blog post).
Coleman is doing very well. He has the least amount of homework and is the most motivated to get it done (so he can go out and play). We are amazed at his math skills, and can hardly believe that all first graders here can do this work. His English skills are still not very strong, but we plan to work on that this summer. Coleman likes to claim that his Chinese hasn’t improved at all since he’s been here, but I think he can’t accurately gage his own progress. He is still playing soccer four times a week, but says he might be ready for a new challenge in the fall. We aren’t quite sure how he’s doing socially at school, since language is such a big issue. He seems to be making neighborhood friends, though.
Reading over this blog, I’m not sure if I’ve succeeded in staying positive. I’m publishing it anyway because I want to have accurate record of our time here. More (happier) blogs to come!
