It is mid-April now, and our public heat, a remnant of the communist regime, has been off for over two weeks. It’s finally starting to warm up, but there have been days that I wear my winter coat, scarf and long underwear in the house! Each city government determines their own start and end dates based on weather predictions, but as we all know, that’s guess work. We’ve had heat when we didn’t need it and no heat when we did. This year, our heat stayed on two extra weeks because it was especially cold this spring. If you’ve noticed, I haven’t complained at all about being cold, because there is so much to be thankful for in my life! We also live in a sixth floor apartment with great southern exposure, so when the heat was on, we were always warm and toasty. Many apartments here (even in our complex) are cold all winter! I am only mentioning it so that a.) you can know, b.) we can remember and c.) if you’ve ever been to China in the winter, you can empathize. I’m finally getting around to writing about Melanie’s visit to China. Although she spent time in Taiwan as a recent high school grad, it was her first time to the Mainland. Some of our best times were just wandering the streets in Beijing, Xi’an and Dalian in search of good street food. Beijing is old hat for our family (this was my sixth time), but it was such an exciting trip for all of us.
Ironically, while I was in Beijing in February with Erin, I learned that my cousin, Marsha, and her family were ending their two year adoption journey in Beijing at the same time as Melanie and I would be here. My dad’s older sister, Annette, would be accompanying them. We only had to tweak the schedule a little bit in order for all us to spend the day visiting the Great Wall and Forbidden City together. We all felt it was a God thing that we could rendezvous with them. Marsha was 8 years old when she first learned that her aunt and uncle (my parents) had adopted twin girls from Taiwan, planting the first adoption seed in her own mind. To be able to spend the day with both of us while she was in China to adopt her Annagrace was truly remarkable. Marsha married a Taiwanese American, Paul, and they have two biological boys, Josh and Caleb. She (like Melanie) has found joy in her life with boys, but there was always a little wish for a girl. Once she began her adoption research, she discovered that even with Paul’s Chinese heritage expediting their paperwork, they would have a long wait. Special needs children are often put on separate lists and are more readily available, so they began down that path.
I arrived in Beijing by train in the early a.m. hours with an 8 hour wait until Melanie’s plane arrived on the exact day that Marsha and Paul would be meeting Annagrace for the first time. She spent the first part of her young life in a desolate orphanage in southern China, but because of her cleft lip and palate, was moved to a Christian foster home in Beijing at the age of 15 months. It is in this environment that she has been thriving for over 3 years. I was lucky enough to be invited to join them in this intimate first meeting. The foster home was much like I imagined – a totally kid friendly, structured, nurturing environment. When we first walked in the door, Annagrace immediately recognized her family from their pictures. She ran to get the photo album that Marsha and Paul had sent ahead to point out her new family. While this was going on, there was another little girl saying, “I have a family, too! I have a mother and a father and siblings, too!” So precious! I think our favorite moment came when it was time to leave. The children were preparing to eat lunch, and Annagrace lead the prayer. Most of what she said was incoherent to Paul and me, but we caught fragments of thankfulness for her new family. Since Melanie’s plane was due to land at 2:00 p.m. on the same side of town as the foster home, I took a taxi straight to the airport and treated myself to Burger King for lunch! As time wore on, I became increasingly anxious about Melanie and her boys. Finally, around 4:00 p.m., I caught sight of Brady’s head floating above the crowd and was able to relax. We spent the evening hanging out in an old Beijing courtyard hotel. The boys weren’t coherent enough to go out to eat, so Harris and I went in search of food to bring back to the hotel.
The next day, Mark and the kids arrived at the hotel around 7:00 a.m., after taking the overnight train from Dalian. We gathered with Marsha’s gang and boarded a private bus for the Great Wall and the Summer Palace. It was so much fun to be with the second cousins. Highlights included tobogganing off the Great Wall, rock climbing (there was no sign saying they couldn’t!) at the Summer Palace, and celebrating Saylor’s birthday near the Olympic venues. We ended the day at a really nice restaurant within walking distance of our hotel. Melanie and I, along with all of our kids, had overnight train tickets to Xi’an, while Mark was taking a plane back to Dalian. At the very last minute, we realized that we needed to take 3 taxis to the train station, but only had two adults. I convinced Mark that he would have time to deliver us to the train station AND make it back to the subway where he could quickly get to the airport. If everything went smoothly, he would have made it with time to spare. We didn’t account for the horrific post rush hour traffic, although we should have known better. Mark got to the airport with less than 30 minutes before departure and by all accounts should not have been allowed on the plane. Not only did he make the flight, but the huge suitcase full of American goods that Melanie brought for us, made it on the plane as well. We should now take a moment of silence, however, for the 4 cans of black olives and 2 bottles of Hershey’s dark chocolate syrup that were confiscated at security. Tragic! I was so nervous for Mark as Melanie and I settled onto the train, but got a call around 11:30 p.m., saying everything went well. Luckily, we couldn’t pre-book the standard hard sleepers (2nd class) that our family usually takes, and HAD to take soft sleepers (1st class). It worked out perfectly so that our families took up two complete compartments with doors that closed. In China, privacy on a train is so rare!
In the morning when we got off the train, we felt like won the lottery when a very nice Chinese woman (with good English skills) offered to take all ten of us and our luggage from the train station to our hotel for only $3 US. This would save us from having to take 3 taxis to a location we weren't familiar with. It turns out it was a guide service (should have know better), and we ended up negotiating transportation to the terracotta warriors. She explained that we could pick and choose which sights we went to and how much time we spent at each site. The guide who showed up to take us (we didn’t even want a guide) was pushy and loud and only spoke Chinese, which meant I had to do double duty of translating and decision making. I told her we only wanted to go to the terracotta warriors and back, but she insisted that we go to the emperor’s burial mound. I spent fifteen minutes debating with her, and she finally wore me down. She insisted we needed to go there to understand the whole story of why this emperor would need to bury a whole army of terracotta soldiers. After we paid the $40 US admission fee, we came to a stand of golf carts where she said we needed to pay $10 US more to ride the cart. I politely declined, but she said we needed to in order to see everything. At that point, I was out of patience. I grabbed my money out of her hands and said we were leaving (there really wasn't much to see anyway). We were only 50 feet beyond the threshold of the entrance, but two men who were "in charge" came over and demanded the money. I explained that our guide hadn't explained the hidden costs, and that we didn't want to be there. They immediately confiscated her guide certificate. This whole time, I was still playing double duties trying to get out of this situation and helping Melanie and her kids buy trinkets. Apparently, Harris was rooting for a fight! The guide's lip began to quiver and she begged us to go in, saying we didn't need to take the cart; we could see everything just fine without it. This turned out to be true, because there was nothing to see in the first place. Although they have done some preliminary research on what lies below the surface of the mound, not much has been uncovered. I should have listened to the Lonely Planet on this one. The next unexpected stop was a jade factory store which the guide insisted she was required to stop at. Melanie decided to stay in the van with a sleepy child, while we went in to learn all about jade. The show room was huge, with at least 40 clerks milling around. We were the only tourists to have fallen into the trap at the time, so they were all willing to work with us. I had made my mind up to not buy anything even before we went in, but the girls who had birthdays found some jewelry that they HAD to have. Since we’d already started a tab, Melanie and I were compelled to buy some beautiful “twin” bracelets made out of adjacent pieces of jade, a choice neither of us will ever regret, even if we paid too much.
We finally made it to the terracotta warriors, after a quick pit stop of homemade bread and jam. It’s been fifteen years since I was there, and they have really spiffed up the place. I remembered bad translations and poorly lit displays that had a tunnel or lean-to feel to them. Now, the warriors have magnificent permanent structures built over them, although the excavations are still not finished. The farmer who found the warriors was even on hand for autographs. Last summer, Saylor accompanied our friend, Bill, to Xi’an, so she put herself in charge of the tour, deciding which buildings to see first. Even with all the good signs and top rate tour guide, we still walked away without really understanding the whole thing.
We flew back to Dalian and spent the last few days of their stay relaxing and eating good food. My kids went back to school and I attended morning classes while the Nichols boys and Melanie explored the local surroundings. Melanie did a good job refilling her bags with Chinese gifts after we unloaded the comforts from home that she brought us. It’s been twenty years now since we’ve spent time together in Asia. Our mom gave us plane tickets to Taiwan as a graduation present from high school, and our expenses in Taiwan were covered by the Taiwanese government. At that time, we were two all American girls with wide eyes who didn’t really understand our Chinese heritage. We’d practically grown up denying it. We’ve come so far since those days of eating mostly white rice and onion bread. It was such a treat to show her our lives here and see her heart growing bigger to make a little room for Chinese culture and family.
