Squatter's Rights (and Recommendations)

1.) Always bring your own toilet paper and wet wipes
2.) You can hold your breath
3.) Watch where you step
4.) Flushing is unfortunately optional

I hate squatting toilets, mostly because I’m not good at using them. My first encounter with the squatter was in Taiwan, when I was 18 years old, and much too immature to appreciate that it is better than nothing in a pinch. For those of you who aren’t familiar with this mind/body experience, let me enlighten you. From what I can tell, there are two basic types of toilets in the world: the “western” version, which is what we are all used to, and the squatter. The squatters I’ve seen range from a hole in the ground to a trough that many can use at the same time (with dividers if you’re lucky) to a porcelain basin in a private room. Not only do you need to have good leg muscles (mostly upper thigh) to get low, but you only have an 8 in diameter to work with. It’s actually not the squatting part that is the problem for me; I could squat all day if I had to. I have been cursed with bad aim and a healthy stream that ricochets on to my shoes. Understandably, I had a goal of avoiding squatters the whole time I am in China. This is easily doable, as our apartment and any hotels we stay in will all have western toilets. We didn’t even give the kids the heads up about squatters, thinking they would never have to use them. Unfortunately, I was in denial about it. Kids have to go when they are in a restaurant, at a public park or at school. They try to hold it, but going in the squatter is better than going in the pants, I always say.